Friday, October 20, 2006

I want to write that I’ve been traveling which is true. I’ve been to the ocean and back, up and down stairs, around the block and back to same house I lived in when I was twenty. My boss tells me I am a good closer. She says this b/c I am good at getting donations, hiring teachers, finding art benefactors. But I don’t believe this is true. I believe I am a good path jumper. I like shorts visits, short tasks. If it involves 15 min of my time I am really good at it.

If I met a bear in the woods (always the test of one’s moral character) I would not face the bear nor would I fear the bear I would simply change my direction thus the travels in my life look a little bit like Ms. Packman on speed--all the beautiful yellow lines but no direct course.

I think a better person would have closed her blog—left ya with a bit of mystery, desire to wonder instead of simply leaving the room with the lights on. Oh well I apologize but there’s a bear in the cupboard and a moose in the foyer.

I realized today I am not writing b/c I am blocked or busy but b/c simply I have forgotten how one approaches such things. I don’t remember at all how it begins. I know it was me. I was here and I listened.

At the reading Ms. Gallagher said to me it is good to have a book again and I said yes, it is good to remember the hunger, the hunger to be read. For as much as we may try to convince ourselves otherwise we write for one person alone and it IS ourselves and even when they bound and wrap the book, send it to millions of people it is still only for us—the writer. Funny thing that, a very funny thing indeed.


LitByFire said...

Why is meeting a bear a test of MORAL courage? I'm curious; I can't quite get my mind wrapped around that.

When I met a bear with two cubs, I dropped my backpack and walked backwards for a quarter of a mile until they moved on.

They didn't eat my backpack. I didn't shit for a week. When a bear stands up, it is TALL.

Moral courage? I've got my mind around the practical side so far. I ate bear in Romania.

LKD said...

Leave the lights on. People still wonder. People still peer through the curtained windows.

Maybe you haven't forgotten how to approach writing. Maybe you're waiting for it to approach you.

If you stand really still, maybe it will approach very quietly and slowly and sniff you all over.

Don't walk away from that bear.

Let it come near.

caitlin grace said...

stay still and let the bear approach very quietly and sniff you all over.

I love that.

it reminds me of the passage from the little prince that you posted months ago, about taming the fox.

I'm caitlin, by the way, and I read your blog. It is one of the things that inspires me to try to keep writing when it feels impossible.

burning moon said...

I'm reading Janet Frame's book, Scented Gardens for the Blind at the moment. It reminds me why I wanted to write. It's easy to forget about writing sometimes, in the midst of all the study, work, raising kids etc.

Lyle Daggett said...

Writing does sometimes have its slow or dry times. Sometimes it's possible to wait out the dry times. Sometimes it's necessary to push a little, to grind the words out, to get the flow moving.

It's also worth keeping in mind that the bear you're talking about here isn't a real actual bear, it's just a pretend bear. It's just a (sometimes, partially, possibly) handy metaphor.

(The real bear is in you. That's why you can write.)

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