Saturday, October 23, 2004

Up Hill and I might be rolling down any minute

I have missed two readings I wanted to hear this month. Spencer Reese and Fanny Howe, I have both their books and am really mad at myself for not being committed to the time. Both readings fell on days I had the children and I’ve become more and more reclusive as I work on submissions & the manuscript. I go out to eat sushi and work.
I don’t believe being in the house writing is always a good thing but it is the way my body is naturally working at the moment. I just applied for the Palm Beach Poetry Contest http://www.palmbeachpoetryfestival.com and I sent off my third submission to Beloit Poetry Journal . The first letter asked for more work, the second asked me to rework a poem they liked (which I did) and now I have sent three more poems and reworked the one they liked.
I hope I get in. I am a little obsessive about it at the moment. Anne Sexton was first published in this journal, Langston Hughes. I think it is the oldest poetry journal in New England and is based in Maine where I grew up. Did I mention I am a little obsessive about it?
I am filled with the feeling of not being good enough. I wonder if there is a writer out there who loves sending things off. If so please feel free to take over this area in my life.
I am very big on encouraging people to send work out, ask poor Laurel. But I don’t think it ever becomes natural. I do think that the more you do it, the easier it becomes and the less you think about it. Of course till you are again forced to think about it because it is a place you really, really want to get into.
Like everything else when I am unaware of self I do better. It is a long list. I write better when I don’t think. I do readings better. I make love better. When I am not aware of steps I do not limited myself.
Oh well today I am very aware and there has to be some worth in that. Anyone who knows what it is please email me. I love the stanza of the poem below. Laux emailed it to me this morning and I have no idea what poem it is from and google has not helped me. Did you ever have on of those day when you know you are moving but it mostly up hill?

1 comment:

early hours of sky said...

Hi Helm, how are you. Nice to see you here. Thanks for your kind words, T