Value

I truly believe in the statement “if you ask the universe a question it will answer back” I’ve been struggling this week with all the things I have to get done. I’ve been struggling with questions inside myself.
The short story is one of my daughter’s best friends comes from a fairly well to do family and the mother has a studio where she paints full time. I was faced with the possibility this month of being able to write full time and then it fell through. The income that would support both me and the girls for a year so I could write did not happen. This causes so many voices in my head to do battle.
I like being a working writer. I feel like I get nothing done. When I have something in my head I am forever putting in on the back burner because, my real job, or the girls need me and the time to write falls away. I don’t feel organized. When I have time I have no inspiration.
Anyway I was feeling very jealous of this woman and then reminding myself we each have or own struggles and I would not want to trade place with her anyway. But it is hard to do when I think of all the time she has to work and somehow this creates a picture of her in my head with Bach playing, paint flying and birds singing. It is rather lovely.
Well of course as the universe goes, we ended up having a long talk today and she said she doesn’t feel validated or worth anything b/c her partner brings home all the income while she paints. So much for the flying birds.
I find that so sad that we have to put a monetary value on our art. What is value? We give value in our society to all sorts of things, is the unpublished writer more valued then the published one? How do we value ourselves? Are our successes worth more then mistakes?