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44 comments:
I found the photo of Bella so compelling--perhaps it's the sheer joy on her face--that I've been back to visit it multiple times.
I think I've already told you privately: When I grow up, I want to be as joyful and fearless as Bella.
Here's a Valentine for her, and you:
Valentine for Bella
My darling daughter, you are not mine.
Still, I wish I could claim I’d made this sky
for you fragile and pink as tissue paper
and roses. I wish I could tell you
that you’ll never know more than you do
in this eight year old moment, smile gap-
toothed, mouth open wide as if about
to take a bite out of the world. And so you will.
I wish I could hold each baby tooth you lose,
tiptoe into your room and steal those pearls
from beneath your pillow. I wish I could watch
you breathe and feel your cells swimming inside me.
Instead I’ll carry you as I never could, as you are
right now, right here, a black and white girl,
in my heart and head forever like an egg
deep in my ovary that never finds its way
to the womb. You are still too young to know
the mysteries of blood. Your fingers are stained
with mud and ketchup. Soon, daughter, soon.
Bella, know that even though you are not mine,
you are a woman, and so am I and in that way,
you have given birth to me and I, you.
Thank you Laurel
Hey, gorgeous! xoxoxo
wow.
I just want to say that
(this is not about plums)
I read your blog fairly regularly and laurel's also, and find both inspiring and wise, so thank you
and happy valentines week.
lovely poem.
caitlin
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