Because I was alone in the house for two whole hours at supper time I decided to eat the things in my fridge that no one else would eat. The lone pickle, the half eaten sandwich because I reasoned, in my rather adult head, that even if it didn’t satisfy me or made me slightly ill, I would NOT feel guilty for throwing large quantities of food out come Saturday morning.
Well friends, I’m here to tell you TWO HOURS LATER that guilt is not a physical response--- food poisoning however, sure the hell is!!!!
Rule number one in life: never, ever put anything in your mouth you don’t want there.
Rule number two: if someone else puts it there---spit it the hell out!
Why do I always feel like I’m living one of those educational videos of what not to do with your life.
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3 comments:
God, you're just like my mother.
Is it a mom thing, this willingness, this blind courage, this batshittedness (grin) that will allow a well-adjusted, intelligent, relatively normal person to eat food that's been sitting in the fridge just a little too long?
My mother grew up poor so she's always chanting "waste not, want not."
Still.
I don't know if I want what you got for cleaning out your fridge, T.
(grin)
Hope you feel better.
It makes me shudder to think of some of the funky things my mother's eaten.
Oh, and you left out rule #3.
Don't put anything in your mouth that you can't readily identify, that doesn't look right or doesn't smell right, or that you can't name the exact date that it first landed in the refrigerator.
Oh, and if you have to scrape something off said food item before partaking, for godsakes, THROW IT OUT!
I swear, I swear I will NEVER do this again!
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