want

Okay so the two questions I was asked last night (in between martinis) were

1) Do you think blogging helps your life as a poet?
2) If you could regain one thing in your writing life you believe you’ve lost what would it be?

Well I have no idea if blogging helps me, sometimes I think it does, sometimes I don’t. At times I believe if I was more serious I would just write all the time. But I really wanted a more in depth writing community and I think I have found it here with blogging. It does help to see other people going through the same woes and having the same questions. Still, I use it sometimes to avoid what I need to get done.

The second question is easier to answer and even though I bitch about it, I miss my arrogance, when I first started writing I believed I could change the world. Maybe everyone believes this, I don’t know. I have only been me. But even as a little girl I wanted to be the writer in my generation.

For example, the first time I had my palm read the woman did several double takes and said you will affect countless people and I didn’t even flinch, I was like well I KNOW that now explain who I am going to date. lol

But somehow I think I’ve lost that sense of knowing and it is the thing I miss most. Now I see the amazing writing of other people. I don’t feel like anything I say is new or different and I have to constantly remind myself of my own truth. And I think those countless people may not be my readers at all but the children I stand in front of everyday and say you are an artist, you can do anything.

I’m not knocking that vocation, I love my job but it is not all I want. I want so much more.