Sentinel

I woke up today with this word. A Teresa word—there are words that I recognize as being part of my map. I understand I see sentinels everywhere, places I must past that are guarded, if I know the right word I may enter. How much of my life is based on knowing what to say?

Today b/c of google I learnt there’s an ancient sentinel in Iraq which American soldiers are guarding so it is not destroyed—men dressed in guns, standing around a stone when so many people are dying. What is the right word?

Today I know that sentinel mapping is a way of entering a woman’s breast so that a doctor may clear cancer from the lymph nodes, that a map may be drawn so something which seems so intimate, so connected can be an island.

I am going to stop looking for the right way. I do not want to believe in paths anymore, or houses, or gateways. Things I can do to make my life, journey, love, book better. I do not want believe that the world is guarded, if I miss chance I will never be allowed in. I am taking away the guns---there are tulips in his hands.