Today is the celebration of Olivia’s birthday and I have a seven foot blow up monkey sitting in my living room. I love that she is still a kid with goodie bags, monkey tattoos and tie dye beach balls. I am happy she still wants a “kid’s birthday.” My days are numbered.
Olivia and I went to the theatre this week to see Espranza Rising. There’s a part of the play where she lays her body on the ground to hear the heart of the earth, to know where she is. Espranza is taken from her home and everything she knows to begin again; “remember this” I said to my daughter, “remember you can begin anywhere.”
Truth is an amazing creature. Sometimes it clings like a beast to our ankles and we fear people finding out the truth or we fear our own deepest need. Things we have known forever but refuse to admit, and sometimes it feels like light traveling through a window; if you did not look up, you would not notice, you would not see.
Remember you can begin anywhere. I have not been truthful with myself over the last year. I have not been truthful about who I love, and I have not loved myself well. I was trapped in my own fear, of changing, of putting down the people I felt responsible for, my need to carry. I am done--begin, begin anywhere.
And the wonderful, horrible thing is my truth does not need to be yours. It is free to travel.