*the following post contains strong language and brief bouts of nudity*

It was a beautiful day in Minneapolis and my love is coming back to town tonight and because of this, I headed off to wash my car. After several years in a relationship these things become romantic. Anyway right in front of the car wash a cop pulls me over and thus

cop: Did you go right back there?
me: yes, ummmm I think so.
cop: I have mirrors and I saw you weren’t wearing your seatbelt
me: well actually I was I just had it pull down
cop: why???
me: because (I have no clue what to say now and I had just read Suzanne’s blog before I left so....) ummmm b/c I am pregnant.
cop: well if you are going to lie about it…
me: (PISSED EVEN THOUGH I AM LYING AND THUS MORE PISSED) are you telling me I’m not pregnant? [note: I am a girl I could BE knocked up]
cop: (confused) did you know you had a break light out?
me: (obviously we had moved on) No, which one?
cop: I don’t know.
me: well could you check???? (thinking I had to act pregnant and that involves telling men what to do)
cop: (yells something to a man named Larry &^%$* )
cop: I need your license and insurance card
I fumble around and for some reason, can only find my ten page insurance policy…WTF…and for some other reason, besides the fact I am type A, this is not good enough for him
cop: I am sighting you with four violations.
me: FOUR!!!
cop: ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME????
me: you are six foot three and standing half way in my car… Yes
cop: what you need to do, is go down to city hall and plead not guilty, then they will let the fines go so you are just out your time.

He actually said that….to which it took all my control not to say, if I am so NOT guilty, why are you give me a fucking ticket? But by this time every single male employee from the car wash has come out to watch him give me a ticket. I had the great need to flash them all but I thought that would involve more tickets.

Did I mention he pulled me over in one of those car wash stalls? And to top it all off, after he drives away, the guy cleaning out my car decides this would be a good time to ask me out. I mean because of course, at this moment I am thinking about getting laid….hell, the things non-pregnant women have to put up with.