I once had someone tell me that after 9/11 the divorce rate tripled the very next year. She of course she was commenting on my divorce which was somehow connected to a national crisis.

It is sad the things we tell ourselves and others to reach a state of connection. I recently had another friend tell me she didn’t think her life was valid b/c she didn’t have a book out. Another friend b/c she didn’t have children.

I would like to side note here and say that I have lots of male friends and not one of them has ever brought up validity in their life connected to another object. Of course, some have wanted love, books, children but not one of them has said, “Teresa, I do not feel valid.”

And it makes me wonder what it is, in us, as women that connects our existence to something outside of ourselves. Isn’t it frightening that was deems us as acceptable in our own reality is outside our power. I can’t make someone love me (tried this) and really you can’t do the other two without a hell of a lot money or someone’s help.

Why am I thinking these things? Because I have daughters, because sometimes I judge myself too harshly and the basic fact that waiting for something to come along and give you meaning is fucking exhausting.