So I don’t know if this experiment of posting my morning notes is a good or not. It may show how totally incoherent I am without coffee. I’m reading Carole Maso’s “Breaking Every Rule” and I’m enjoying it very much.

Desire has made it possible for me to write into my greatest vulnerabilities, uncertainties. It has made it possible to not worry so much about the consequences, to let go a little. Desire has allowed me to write into its danger, its bliss, its silence, its abyss. To not care about failing. Whether these pieces were any “good” seemed hardly to enter into it. If I felt I was doing something I already knew how to do well, the rule was to start again in an attempt to break habitual patterns of mind and expression.

Note to self: it’s not always the most talented who produce the greatest work but those who are willing to take risks, even if it may, for a moment make them appear less talented.

Yesterday the proofs came from Massachusetts Review and Mid- American. Why do all my poems appear on odd number pages? I think it’s a good sign. I have finished the proofs today and typed up two more submissions. I am trying again for the journal I really want, the one which wrote me three letters last year. If I get in, I will dance naked on the table. There will no photos.

My girls are living on popsicles and pizza.